Chapter Two: The Bloody Countess

 

 Saul approached the one house left standing in the village with some trepidation. Even if the rumour that fledgling had babbled just before Lupin cut his head off was true, and the old bastard really was dead, it would be wise to be cautious – who knew what sort of booby-traps the old psycho might have installed?

 He was surprised, but not necessarily pleasantly, by the conspicuous lack of any pointy things that shot up out of the ground or flew through the air at him. That didn’t mean anything. The smell of old blood emanating from the house, however, did.

 He reached the slightly ajar door, drew his sword just in case, took one cautious step forward into the house – keeping close to the doorframe – and heard the thud of the thing that had sliced the side of his face in the wooden frame, before he felt the sharp pain from his flesh.

 A guttural giggle emanated from the room at the far end of the shadowed hall: “Whoops! I was aiming for your ear! Guess I need to practice a bit more!”

 Slowly raising his fingers to the cut – which was disturbingly close to the lobe of his ear – and feeling the warmth of his blood beginning to seep and well, he made out the figure that the giggle belonged to. A girl, a vampire girl, was bent over something in the half gloom, her dirty hair hanging in hanks, hiding her face. The only part of her that was visible in any clarity was her pale, bare right arm, still extended  towards him in the motion that had let loose the – he dared to glance to his left – the throwing star that was embedded so deeply in the wooden frame it had practically sliced its way through the feeble material.

 He looked back at the girl, just in time to see her straighten abruptly, disturbing the air currents so that a whiff of her scent met his nose and made it wrinkle; it raked across his nostrils like a file, sharp, harsh, grating, like something that had been broken and glued back together with only minor care. But her scent was nothing compared to the sight of the girl herself. With that emaciated frame upon which her stained tank top and jogging bottoms hung loosely, the abnormal grin that managed to be both perky and more than slightly terrifying, and the huge pin point eyes, the image of an steroid addicted airhostess who had really let herself go came uncontrollably to mind.

 If it was possible, her smile grew even wider as she focused upon him. “Sorry, are you a customer? We’re not taking any commissions at the moment, we’re very busy!” She let her other, hidden hand fall, and it seemed to meet an equally hidden surface with a harsh clang of metal upon metal.

 Saul unconsciously tightened his grip on his sword as he fought for words to speak. “Umm…no…I’m not a customer. I…came to see how Cain was?” he finished weakly. Who was this girl? From the precious little he knew of the sword smith he had never even let another person into his forge alone, and now here was some sort of apprentice? What the hell was going on?

 “Oh, he’s fine.” To his secret relief, she lowered her visible arm; even the sight of the empty fingers, stretched towards him and gleaming palely in the moonlight, was somehow far worse than seeing the selfsame fingers holding some deadly implement, ready to chuck at him.

 “That’s nice to know,” he ventured, taking another tentative step forward, holding the sword ready to block another attack, should it come. He wasn’t letting this strange creature get another clear shot at him, especially since she apparently had a near perfect aim even when she wasn’t looking at him.

 “Oh, yeah! He’s perfectly fine, all perky and stuff, and urging me on! Of course, I had to cremate him a few months back; otherwise his body would have started going all yucky and mouldy, even without his blood! But I sewed his head and arm back on before I did it, and he looked sort of sweet, even if he wouldn’t have wanted to! Anyway, his blood’s still here, even now, and it keeps me warm, and it tells me what to do and how to do it!”

 Oh shit, she was completely mad. She was nuts. She was even crazier than the old coot. Saul forgot all about moving forwards, and instead started to edge backwards. Even though by her scent he could tell that he was older than her, and presumably more powerful, madness and knowledge of weapons put together made for a potentially lethal combination, and he wasn’t that much of a fighter or powerhouse in any case. “You killed him?” he stuttered. “You killed him and ate him?”

 “No.” For the first time, her voice lost that manic edge. She bent over the strange object again. “Some people came, from New London. I was out. They killed him, and stole our best swords. So I’m going to kill their leader.”

 “I’m sorry? You’re going to New London to kill Thaddeus Catesbury?”

 “Yes.” In an instant she had shot out of the forge and right up to him, her face was practically pressed up against his, with her horrible breath clouding his nose, her body pushing against his with a force that was unearthly strong, even for their species, his back against the wall cutting off any escape route, and something uncomfortably pointy was digging into his neck. Looking into her wide orbs was enough to make his own eyes water uncontrollably. “I trust you’re not going to immediately run off to New London with this info?”

 What else could he do but try to deny this? He shook his head, or as well as he could while trying to ignore images about the state of his neck should he move too much.

 “Oh, good! Because otherwise I would’ve cut your arms and legs off!” She spoke as if this was an amazing, revelatory treat, to be savoured with the fervour of a child. “And then you’d have to bleed to death, and that wouldn’t be very nice, would it?”

 She seemed to be expecting some sort of answer, so he croaked to imply that no, that would not be very nice at all.

 “But at least your blood would make good moisturiser.” She leant forward and sniffed his now freely-bleeding wound. “And then again, maybe not.”

 To his intense relief she finally stepped away, taking the sharp points away from his throat as she did so. “All right, get lost, big boy. I have work to do.” As she turned away, the moonlight shone on the jagged blade of the sword she grasped in her right hand, and the finished throwing stars that gleamed at her waistline. “And as far as all the little vampire faces are concerned, this place is empty, okay? If you say otherwise, I will come and find you, and the cutting arms and legs off thing will still stand. Or maybe just lie on the floor screaming and wriggling like a little bug on its back.”

 Saul was something of a coward, but he also had the sense that came from cowardice. He nodded slowly and emphatically, so that even with her head turned away she’d be able to see, and then backed carefully out of the door, before turning and running for it.

 Pity was not an emotion which came easily to the vampire, but as he heard behind him the roar of something that sounded suspiciously like a chainsaw, and above that another high-pitched giggle, he found that he was really feeling sorry for the prince of New London.

 

*

 

Throughout the warm nights that summer, if there had been anyone or anything left in the countryside to watch, they would have seen a slender, magenta haired girl making her slow but steady way south, towards the bright light of New London, with something large upon her back that gleamed, and things at her waist that shone in the moonlight.

 But then again, there was nothing living left to see.

 

*

 

My name is Meredith. The name I was given after I became a vampire was a much finer one, but I have cast that aside, as I have cast aside everything to do with what I was – save one or two things. Memories, and regrets. And hate. I can never lose my hate.

 I write in the ruins of what was once a palace, and before that was the house of a god that seems to have long abandoned this world. Perhaps one day someone will find this testimony, though in truth I doubt it. But this is the only way I can and will tell of what happened here, and what destroyed the power of the vampires in England, and my old life along with it, along with any hope of peace I would ever have – all because of her.

 I do not pretend to be saintly, nor seek to convince whoever finds this of my innocence. I know exactly what sort of creature I was, even if I was under the influence of the monster who made me what I was – Thaddeus Catesbury, the elected prince of New London. Sometimes, when I think of my miraculous escape from the sack of the old London when so many others died in the bloodshed, my time among fellow rebels in the London Alliance, my battles alongside my companions in our attempts to rescue what was left of our England from the devils that had destroyed it; only to be captured, transformed, brainwashed and set upon the rebel forces like a trained dog, rewarded by my master with the flesh of my former comrades…

 I have sworn to myself that I will not weep while escribing this. I must concentrate on my task.

 So; I aided in the ultimate fall of humans in England. After the defeat of the London Alliance the vampires took control of the city once more, making extensive use of the Underground  train system to shield themselves from the sun, and to hunt out the last contingents of the defeated human army. A new order arose in the capital, albeit beneath the earth. In the years that followed the Alliance’s downfall those unlucky humans that remained alive were kept like the animals that their victors viewed them as, penned in prison cells in the disused stations and train tracks under ground, barely ever seeing the light of the sun or feeling fresh air upon their faces, bred forcibly to continue their race and milked to ensure the success of our own, and occasionally used for savage pleasure or brutal sport in the arenas of the rich. Vampire nobles constructed elaborate mansions for themselves in the disused bank-vaults, and even dared to extend their tentacles up into the ruined shells of former splendid buildings.

 Catesbury, however, was not content to live underground. Very early on he claimed the relatively unscathed cathedral of Saint Paul as his seat of power, and proceeded to warp the once holy building to his own design. Where the faithful had once celebrated mass he set up a council chamber, where the altar had once been he placed his throne, in the crypt where the great human heroes of centuries past had been laid to rest he destroyed the holy graves, and instead set up an theatre and arena, that doubled as a torture chamber. Scorning to block up the windows he let the sunlight shine in full during the day, and took vindictive pleasure in forcing wayward followers at sword point to stand for long instances in the bright sunlight, scorching their skin, sometimes practically beyond repair. The beautiful dome the cathedral, with its lovingly applied paintings, became a platform from which his soldiers might fire from should any enemy forces approach. Not quite his consort and not quite his concubine I lived alongside him, held in complete thrall by his will. If he had poured a glass of blood onto the dirt of the floor and ordered me to lick it up, the words would barely have passed his lips before I would be on my knees and my tongue out to touch the ground. As it was, I recall that I was ordered to lick many things other than the floor, and looking back now considerably less pleasant ones.

 But I digress.

 Such was New London for the next few years – the ages all seem to blend together when you have an eternity to remember them. But I can recall the day of Catesbury’s end with disturbing clarity, as well as everything I know of the person who brought it about.

 It was the anniversary of the fall of the London Alliance, and it warranted a mighty celebration. Vampire nobles from all over the city assembled at midnight in the cathedral-turned-palace to drink toasts and feast on blood from recently harvested humans. The elite of vampire society were present, gathered to celebrate with their prince on yet another reminder of how he had ensured their victory and prosperity in the dead city. I remember I sat on a cushion next to Catesbury’s feet as he sat upon his throne and watched the gathering with the intense satisfaction of one who maintains a pack of wolves and has complete control over them, has tamed them; and though it pains me to admit it I often rubbed my head against his boot in adoration, like the stupid, pampered little pet that I was. Such was the state of my mind by that point that I did not even think of all the friends I had lost all that time ago, all the humans I had killed on that last terrible night – or if I did, I regarded them as nothing more than trash and worthless scum, the attitude of many, indeed most, of the vampires in the city.

 It was late into the gathering when one of the attendants approached Catesbury, informing him that a young vampire wanderer had arrived at the doors to the palace, and demanded entry. Catesbury, seemingly stupid with pleasure and blood, instructed the servant with joviality he did not normally possess to allow the stranger to join the revelry; but not without presenting them to him first. It would probably have gone better with him had he not been so generous, or perhaps just not so eager for a potential exploitation.

   I still remember the sight of her as she came in, so unlike the elegance I had become accustomed to in my life of luxurious captivity, surrounded by everything that was beautiful and nothing that was ugly or common, including the human slaves. Travel stained and graceless clothes, a gaunt face and with filthy, clumsily cut hair, the girl was not exactly the epitome of style, and all were aware of it. As she was led towards the throne conversation ceased and all eyes swivelled around to rest upon her; eyes that had seen many atrocities and belonged to those who had taken part in and caused many atrocities as well; and the owners of the eyes did not think much of this shallow, slight thing at all.

 I remember her scent; like a half-healed wound that still smelled faintly of poison, and which had barely begun to heal.

 I remember her eyes, like huge pearls with tiny black dots scrawled onto them, staring up at Catesbury and the black sword that had been brought to him with excessive show months before. I remember he had prized the sword, so highly that I had actually been jealous of the weapon.

 I remember the bear at her waist, which curiously resembled a teddy bear made of metal. I had thought that all the toys had perished, along with the tiny hands that had played with them. Clearly I was wrong, or at least on one count.

 I remember her so well. The one who maimed me. The one who trapped me. The one who set me free.

 The wounded one.

 The Bloody Countess.

 I remember all that transpired between the two, my erstwhile lord and the one he had wronged.

 “Will you join us in our revelry?” he asked. The girl had stared back up at him, her head tilted so that her dirty locks fell down onto her shoulder.

 “I’ll not dine nor sup with you,” she declared at length.

 Catesbury laughed. “For any reason, my dear? Has one of my numbers caused you offence – unintentionally of course, I am sure?”

 “No,” was the bland reply. “I’m just not hungry.”

  Catesbury laughed again, which was unusual for him. “Why not just drink, then? But never mind. You have come here for a purpose; what is it? Oh, but first; who are you?”

 “My name is Rendal Phibes Bathory. My master was Cain the sword-master – right up until your lot cut his arm and head off, at least.”

 The atmosphere became electric. Few of the guests knew of the circumstances by which Catesbury had come by his newest weapon, but they could tell by the sudden summoning of manna by the attendants that something was afoot, and placed down their glasses, ready to cast their own spells. All their attention was focused on that slight, stained form in front of the throne, who judging by her scent had been wounded so deeply that a great fissure had been rent down her very being, and who had healed in a way that had warped her more than Catesbury had ever warped Saint Paul’s.

 Catesbury, to his credit I suppose, kept his cool. “Ah, yes, the sword smith. I was not aware he had an apprentice.”

 “No? Well, you are now.”

 “I suppose you’ve come here for horrible, bloody vengeance?”

 “Vengeance?” Her voice suddenly changed in nuance, tone, her face light up. It was as if her whole mind had transformed, as she abruptly beamed up at the two of us on the throne. “What would I want vengeance for? After all, what’s a little murder between vampires? I’ve got the forge all to myself now, and that means I got a chance to finally upgrade Freddy!” Her fingers went to the metal bear at her waistline, giving it a loving stroke. “If anything, I should probably be thanking you! And so should the rest of us! So thanks! Thanks from all of us! Except maybe Cain; I don’t anyone would thank someone for killing them!”

 It was obvious by now that she was completely insane, but that did not mean guards were let down – mad vampires were no less dangerous for the loss of their grasp of reality. Everyone watched with some fascination as she calmed down as quickly as she had grown excited, and gazed up at Catesbury intently. “However, there is a problem that you could help with.”

 “Really?” He sat back in his throne, smiling down at yet another poor unfortunate he planned to control, just as he controlled me, and the masses of humans he had ensorcelled to turn on each other and gun each other down in the wars in Europe.

 “Yes. You see, I’m keeping up Cain’s old contracts – and it turns out that he was due to make a delivery to an important client, and it’s kinda tricky to make a delivery if I don’t have the sword to deliver.” She turned her gaze to the prized sword, sheathed and standing by the throne, Catesbury’s dearest possession, held in esteem far above myself. “That sword, to be perfectly precise. So if you’d just hand it over, I’m sure we could forget the whole business of the running through and arm and head cutting off of my master – if I hadn’t already forgotten it.” She wiped her fingers across her forehead, taking away some of the grime. “See? All gone! No hard feelings! So give the sword back, all right?”

 Catesbury looked down upon her as if she were some sort of slug, and I probably did the same. Who was this miserable girl, to enter because of his hospitality, and then demand his precious sword?

 “And if I say no?” he asked mockingly, leaning forward and leering at her.

 “Then I say this.” She reached over her shoulder with her right hand, pulled out whatever it was she had been keeping on her back – which turned out to be a huge sword, the blade curved and the edge jagged.

The blade which imprisoned me. The blade which set me free.

 She pointed the sword at Catesbury, without even a trace or a scent of fear. “Hand over the sword, you wanker, or I’ll gut you.”

 Catesbury didn’t even blink. I, however, would probably have leapt upon her, had not his mental bonds held me in check. I desperately wanted to rend her limb from limb, for even daring to insult my great lord.

 Thinking about the pathetic minion I was is truly disgusting.

 At a sign from Catesbury, attendants and drones surrounded the girl, pulling out weapons, ready to rend her flesh, spelling the blades to inflict maximum pain. They wouldn’t make it quick, like I wanted to, to get her out of my sight, out of my mind, away from my beloved master. Catesbury always enjoyed watching others wish for death long before it came.

 She laughed. As long as I live, I’ll never forget that laugh. If the spectators did not think much of her, she thought nothing of them at all. Her eyes rolled, whether in her madness or in exasperation or in despair itself I do not know.

“You think to threaten me with swords I helped make? Swords you stole?”

She grasped at something on the pommel of her own sword, yanked it, and a roar filled the great building as the blades upon her sword whirred into life. “Come on, then!”

 And she moved first. Almost too fast to see even for vampire eyes she scythed into the bodyguards. Her weapon screamed as it met the blades of her foes, but it was their swords that broke, struck by the chainsaw in such a way that the metal they were constructed of could not take the strain and shattered. Guards looked stupidly at the useless weapons fractions of seconds before their heads exploded in gory showers of red, setting my nose on fire.

  One leapt at her, abandoning his broken tool in favour of his claws; something flew from her hand and smashed him backwards through a pillar and into the wall. As his bloodied body slid down the marble he left much of his head behind, crushed into a pulp by the metal bear that protruded out of the stone. That hollow in the wall is still there to this day, and the stain has not faded after all these years.

 Other shapes left her free hand that darted swiftly to her waist and straightened again; shrieks came from those who were sliced by the seemingly endless razor-sharp throwing stars.

 Catesbury snarled, all his humour gone, and I felt and was aware of him pouring his hypnotic will out over his guests, over me, grasping my mind along with the others and focusing it on one thing alone. At once every party guest was no longer an aristocrat but a warrior, ready to fight, and I was his faithful hound.

Kill her!    

 I was the first to spring from my cushion, unchained, fuelled by the bloodlust, eager to obey my master and taste her blood, to tear her throat; and I was the first to fall. Even as I reached out to slice her apart with my claws she grinned her horrible, frantic smile at me, and the chainsaw bit off my right arm and ripped open my stomach, disabling me at once. But in truth, that is probably what saved my life, since I was writhing on the floor and unaffected by the horror of what happened next.

I remember that the girl began to sing as she reaped the sanguine harvest; her cracked voice rising even among the shrieks of those she cut down like a true demon.

"‘Oranges and lemons,’ say the bells of St. Clement's!”

 The aristocrats fell before her blade like the humans they had cheerfully butchered for their own satisfaction. Secure in their surroundings, they had relaxed their manna and their skill in manipulating it – and they had doomed themselves.
"‘You owe me five farthings,’ say the bells of St. Martin's!”

 From my sprawl of agonizing pain, I saw leaping vampires clutch their chests and crash to the floor, writhing in death throes. Some clawed at themselves, opening great tears in their skin, to let the blood come boiling out, steaming and hissing as it cooked, driving the as yet unharmed guests into a wild frenzy. The heads of others just exploded, spattering gore and brains. Everything was red, the taste of blood was in my mouth, but it had long since ceased to be sweet.

“‘When will you pay me?’ say the bells of Old Bailey!” she hummed and hissed, pulling the metal bear out of the wall with a sickening sound and flinging it at Catesbury, who only just managed to duck. The eyes of a guard who reared up behind her to ambush her suddenly exploded in twin waterfalls of carmine. The blood rained down upon her head, plastering her hair to her scalp and running down her face like tears of her own, despite her insane grin. Manna flickered around her like a fire, an even deeper shade of that crimson that was everywhere now.

 Whenever I think of her in that moment, I think of a metamorphosis – a creature that had become something else entirely.

 “‘When I grow rich,’ say the bells of Shoreditch!” she sang out, deftly slicing a drone into green-spewing pieces.

As I watched, still trying not to pass out from the pain of my wounds, the last few guests and guards collapsed in their own vital fluids, twitching in a most unpleasant fashion. I suppose that the only reason I was not suffering the same fate was that she – for she was the only one who could be doing this – thought I was already dead. She was advancing on Catesbury now, a maniac smeared with red, the stained chainsaw pointing once more on his retreating, now panic-stricken form of my sire.

 “Blood magic?” he stammered, raising the sword he had achieved through ill-gotten gains. “But…it can’t be! It just can’t! You’re not an Elder! You’re just a child! A child!

 The dreadful girl smiled, even as she crooned.

“‘When will that be?” say the bells of Stepney!”

 As she spoke the words she lunged forward, slicing down with the blade roaring for his blood. If he had not dodged, it would most certainly have quenched its thirst.  

 I watched with detachment flooding me, as Catesbury summoned up all his influence, stripping away the hold he still had upon me. All at once, I could see what was truly happening – not my beloved, loving master fighting an evil foe, but one monster pitted against another, in a fight to the death. But the true difference was that I now knew who had a definite chance of winning.

 And it wasn’t the one who had kept my mind and the minds of so many enslaved throughout the years.

 Through my still present connection to him, I felt Catesbury focus all his will and might upon her mind, in an effort to break her attack – and saw his consternation when his efforts failed, as well as the girl’s lips part in a deriding laugh, just before she struck at him again. He only just parried – there was comparably little strength in his arms. Catesbury’s strength had always lain in convincing others they were weak.

 “Who are you? What are you?”

 Her next blow knocked the sword out of his grasp. She caught it deftly, and placed it upon the ground, never her eyes off him. Her voice came now in a whisper.

 “‘I do not know,’ say the great bells of Bow.”

 As my loss of blood finally began to shut my body down for recuperation, try as I did to stay awake, I saw her advance upon the one who had controlled me, who had foolishly drained himself of all his power in his attempt to control her. I confess to a certain amount of clouded enjoyment, induced by natural pain killers, at the look on Catesbury’s face.

 He tried to leap into the air, to fly, but fell with a painful thud to the ground, and could only crawl backwards, whimpering like the pig he was. Moving slowly out of my line of vision, she followed him quietly and slowly, the mania from her killing spree quite gone. As she walked, she muttered, but I was still able to hear her:

 “Here comes the candle to light you to bed,

 Here comes the chopper to chop off your head.”

 Just as they passed from my sight, she raised her still growling weapon above her head, and brought it down.

 “Chip.” The squelch of flesh and the crack on bone was almost drowned out by his scream, and the gush and abrupt smell of his blood.

 “Chop.” He screamed louder, more urgently, more desperately than before. I had a fair idea of what she was cutting off.

 “Chip.” Now it was as if he was one of the damned, so loud were his shrieks, only amplified by the dome directly above us.

 “Chop.” The way he had screamed before, I was by now very dimly surprised he had any strength left to cry out.

 As I finally sank into the unconsciousness which called out to me, I still managed to hear her final remark: “The last man’s dead…I don’t think.”

 In the end, it was pain that called me back – my own, and the faint registration of the agony of some other in the back of my head. I opened my eyes to a veritable mish-mash of bodies and blood, lit only faintly by the beginnings of daylight in the windows. The only person left standing was her, as she made her way through the carnage, picking up the remnants of swords and axes, cooing over them like a human mother might over her baby, before bringing them back to a great heap she had created in a space that was conspicuously clear of blood.

 On her third trip past my prone body, she remarked that I might as well get up, since it was obvious that I was still alive, so I shouldn’t waste the rest of what might not be a long life by pretending to be otherwise.

 When I asked – without caring too much – where Catesbury was, having noticed his lack of his body among the many corpses, she replied simply “Look up.”

 I looked up, and I saw.

  By some strange method she had hoisted up some thin cable in one of the arches that leads into the dome; and from it by the neck hung my erstwhile master, his gorgeous golden hair splashed with blood, stripped of all his clothes, and also deprived of both his arms and legs, and his tongue as well, judging by the sounds he was making. Yes, he was still alive, and even without his appendages he was struggling to escape, but even I could see it was a lost cause. The more he struggled, the more the cable bit into his neck, and I knew that this was to be his method of execution, rather than blood loss from his wounds. It would take a long while for him to die, and he would be aware for every last second of it.

 When I finally took my eyes off the grizzly sight, it was to see her placing the last of the load of broken weapons onto a fairly undamaged cloak stripped from a lord’s body. As she tied up the corners, she looked over at me; and I was not sure which was worse, her eyes bloodshot in battle, or tiny and concentrated upon me, especially when she had already robbed me of an appendage.

 “Had enough?”

 I shrugged hopelessly, unable to create a better response. It was not so much the sight above me that had undone me, but the memories that came flooding back. I could remember everything I had ever done since becoming a creature of the night, now that I was no longer under the spell of the pitiful thing who wriggled helplessly above me. I remembered all the atrocities I had committed, the people I had killed, the sights I had seen and enjoyed with animal ferocity; every foul deed, every terrible word, every vile action, all crowded within my brain, yammering to overwhelm me. They haunt me even now, but then…well, I am still surprised that I did not throw myself in front of her and beg her to end my miserable existence by slicing off my head.

 But I know she would not have done it. Her work here was done, save for one thing. She came over to me, and crouched down in front of me, entirely too close, though I was not in a position to complain. She brought her face close to me, and whispered in my ear, “I have cast a healing spell upon you. Your arm will grow back in a few days. I want you able to use both your hands.”

 In an answer to my no doubt quizzical look, she went on. “I spared your life for one reason only; because of him.” She jerked her thumb up towards her victim. “I don’t intend on him getting down. He can stay there until he rots and bits start dropping off. And that’s where you come in! You’re to make sure no one gets him down and does a little healing of their own!” She pushed her horrid face still closer to mine. “And believe me, if I find out he’s down and about, I’ll come back, and I’ll do the same again, to you as well as to him – because for what he’s done, I don’t want him to rest in peace! Only in pieces!” She held out her bloody hand. “Do we have a deal?”

 What could I do?

 So here I have remained; ever since she left with her bloodstained swords and her blood-soaked bear and her regained commissioned piece, I have stayed here in this place, that was once a house of God, then a palace, and is now a tomb. When still loyal followers of the prince of New London arrived, to regain the bodies and set up a new council, I drove them away again, with the strength that she gave me in the healing of my arm; I refused to let them back in, leaving the bodies to decay and the blood to turn stick dry and dark, not even lapped up by flies. When the human slaves staged a revolt in the aftermath of Catesbury’s fall, and carried out their escape from this city of the dead I, unaffected, still kept watch over my own palace of the dead. Even when Catesbury’s struggles finally ceased, many long months after he was first strung up, and his body soon began to rot and fester, I stayed. I dare do nothing else. The Bloody Countess has retained her hold upon me, even after all these years.

 Those who still live in this city - once so glorious, the epitome of vampire society – still call her the Bloody Countess. The more superstitious call this place her temple, and I her priestess. They leave gifts of blood outside the doors for me, not daring to neglect the Countess’s favourite, the one she spared. I can only laugh at how wrong they were. She did not spare me. She doomed the others to death, but she doomed me to something much worse, to live.

 And I can do nothing else. I dare not.

 Since I do not have the courage to leave the echoing halls, still ripe with their stink of blood, I have carved this testimony into the marble beneath where Catesbury’s body remains hanging to this day. Perhaps one day when I myself have rotted away it will be found, but not before. I will let no one in while I still live. In this I ascribe my memory, and my warning.

 Beware the Bloody Countess. Beware her powers that will destroy you from within. Beware her weapons that will turn against you. Beware her eyes, and the madness hidden within. Do not become like I, who both love and despise the woman who released me from the thrall of the man I still loathe, and bound me in a new thrall of revenge and despair.

 That is how much I hate her- with a passion.

 

Writing by an unknown person, ‘Meredith’, found in the ruins of the former palace of Thaddeus Catesbury, first and last Prince of New London.

 

*

 

Some vampires in New London who were not slain in what would soon become known as ‘The purge of Saint Paul’s’, claimed to have actually seen the woman, the Bloody Countess, who had ensured the death of the prince and many of his subjects, as she emerged from the darkness of the cathedral as filthy as the day she was first born, straight into the promise of the sunrise.

  Watching from the shelter of ruins of buildings, they had seen her hold a dark obsidian sword up to the growing light, and smile, causing the blood to drip from her chin even more rapidly.

  Then she had sheathed the weapon, and hoisted her load onto her back. With her other hand she held a small metal bear up to her face, and kissed it, adding more blood to the carmine sheen it was already smeared with.

 Then she had walked down the steps of the cathedral, and scorned the shadows, and disappeared into the sun.

Interlude Two

 

 I walk up the path to the door. I open the door. I step inside. I walk through the hall, into the forge.

Well, here we are again, baby, Freddy, Cain! Home again, home again, joggity-jog! We’re back, and to prove it we’re here! Home sweet home!

 Except it isn’t really sweet, when it still smells of blood.

 Blood’s nice to taste. It’s nice to put on your skin. But it’s not so nice to smell.

 Everything smells of blood. Even me. Even Freddy. Even the sword.

 Still, we can change that, can’t we? Even if the sword still stinks of New London, we can still get that stink off it! All we have to do is boil and boil and boil it! That’s what you were going to do anyway, weren’t you, Cain? We’ll get water warmed by the first light of the sun, and clean clean clean the sword, squeaky clean! Clean as your teeth when you’ve brushed them and they squeak when you rub them! No little bits of blood and chum and stuff on this sword! It has to be perfect!

 But sunrise is a few hours away. The water won’t be warm until then. What to do until then?

 I put down the load, and study it. All those broken bits, inside it, of all the weapons I had to break. It’s a crying shame. A crying, howling shame.

Well, I should probably start the fire again. A good smith never lets their fire go out. And then I’ll mend the swords and axes and blades. I’ll mend all of them. Every single one. I’ll mend each one, and if someone comes they can have one, though of course they’ll have to ask nicely first. And maybe still be smiling after I throw a shuriken at them. Only the best get the swords. No, I’ll keep Cain’s work going, even if it means giving swords to not so good vampires.

 I’m not an apprentice anymore, am I, Cain? I’m a sword-master now, too. I’m skilled. I’ve passed the test.

 I won’t be able to have any fun any more.

 Wasn’t it fun, though? Even if we did have to break the weapons, it was sort of fun to hear them go smash! And fun to watch all those aristos go squish! Wasn’t it odd how they did that when you suggested it, Cain? And when the blood in us called out to do it? I never knew I could do stuff like that! I never knew any of us could do stuff like that!

 It’s certainly getting crowded inside my head. There’s me, then there’s you, dearest darlingest baby, and Freddy takes up quite a lot of room; and now Cain’s here as well, being all grouchy as ever! One big, happy family, right inside my head, for whenever I need you!

 I like you a lot better than the others that used to live in my head. At least you don’t tell me to do things. Or if you do, then they’re always fun things. Like stringing up that berk Catesbury. Or dancing just before the sun came up, then taking a trip to see the Underground, and making everyone think I was all burnt up. My, but we fooled them.

 After this, though, no more fun things. It’ll all be work, and no play. Boring, I know, but babies must not grow up spoilt, and teddy bears can’t always be going off to pig themselves at picnics, and lodgers must not have everything their own way. So; we’ll finish off the sword with sun-warmed water, and then we’ll take it to the client who commissioned it.

 The sword still stinks of him. It won’t for much longer. I’ll enjoy purging it of his scent, just as I enjoyed dicing him up and stringing him up to hang, like the pig he is. I loved watching him dance.

 He danced quite well, for a bloke with no legs.

 Did you like watching the mean man dance, baby? Did you enjoy pulling his arms and legs off, Freddy? Did you feel glad that the one who ordered you dead is dying now, Cain?

 Enough about him. He’s gone up, and he’s not coming down again, except in little moldy pieces. Time to finish the sword. When it’s done, we’ll take it…

 Where are we taking it, Cain? Tell me! To who?

 Oh, all right. To whom.

Now tell me!

 

Chapter Three: The Lone Child

 

Jack’s diary – What’s the point of telling anyone to keep out?

 

So far, tonight was…interesting, for want of a better word. No, that’s something he would say. Dammit, it’s bad enough that he’s mind-raped me without me starting to fucking sound like him as well! Okay! Try again:

 Some crazy stuff happened today. Crazier even than what’s normal in this fucked up castle. As I was going about what’s routine for me i.e. trying to keep out of Orlock’s way, lest in a fit of whatever passion he’s experiencing in his creepy little mind, to take just one example, he sucks on whatever part of me takes his fancy and then cuts it off, or else just cuts it off.  Guess I know why he hasn’t been doing that sort of stuff any more lately. Or at least, not much. Orlock may be a completely twisted, psychotic raving nutcase, but even he wouldn’t go on castrating some poor sucker – that’s me, by the way – whom he’s formally acknowledged as his son. At least, I hope the hell not. It’s not like he’s expecting grandkids that I wouldn’t provide him with in any case.

 Oh great, I started rambling again. Okay, I am going to get this down without deviating.

 So, there I was. Mooching along some corridor somewhere that looks out onto the entrance hall with Vallov following me, as you do – or rather as he does; he’s barely left my side for an instant since The Lord And Master gave him to me. I swear, if I still needed to use the bathroom, he’d be in the room while I was sitting on the john - thinking about how much I hate that asshole of a sire of mine, when suddenly I heard – wait for it – a knock on the doors. I kid you not. An actual knock, on the front doors. I’ve been here for close on eighty years, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned – apart from all the orifices I never knew I had, but found out about when Orlock probed them with pins and needles – you don’t knock on the front doors of this place unless you’re crazy or suicidal.

 And you certainly don’t go on to kick the doors and start shouting unless you’re both.

 “Oi! Anyone at home?” Whoever was outside sounded pissed, but rather because they didn’t like to be kept waiting outside than because of any of the reasons people got pissed in here i.e. a normal reason. “Hello! I’ve got a package to deliver! It’s pretty hard to deliver it if you don’t let me in!”

  For no other reason than because I was curious to see exactly how this going to turn out – seems I’ve turned into a glutton for other people’s punishment – Vallov and I moved to prime spots for watching the doors. They didn’t creak open like in those old horror films. Orlock isn’t really big on theatrics. In the end, whoever was on the other side of them gave up and kicked them open, and marched straight in.

 That girl…where to begin? I like to think that, even in the times when Orlock was dissecting me for kicks on a nightly basis, I still managed to keep myself fairly clean. Or at least, I crawled out of whatever pool of blood I was left in at the end, and pulled off and discarded my sodden clothes when I could find the strength to do so. At any rate I never looked as if I’d taken a bath in the stuff, and left my clothes to dry and turn stiff, or the blood to clot in my hair and daub my face. The only part of her that was clean at all were her hands, and they were so unnaturally white, even for our species, they’d obviously been scrubbed, scrubbed till she might have screamed with the pain. She clearly didn’t want whatever she was carrying wrapped, in black material, to get dirty.

 Even I was impressed, and not much impresses me anymore I can tell you, by her complete lack of reaction to her surroundings. I mean, the décor Orlock favors would probably raise the eyebrow even of people who had a few screws loose – like me - let alone anyone sane. But she just looked around as if she walked into shadowed, blood spattered cavernous entrance halls with less than attractive things on the walls every night of the week, and considered this on the whole rather dull fare.

 “Oi!” she shouted again. “I’ve got a delivery for a Mr. Orlock, no apparent first name! Someone’s got to come out and get it, because I’m not just leaving it here in the hope someone picks it up!”

 God, but it was amusing to hear her bandy Orlock’s name like that. Matter of fact, even I didn’t learn his first name until he’d tortured the living crap out of me so many times he knew I wasn’t about to run off and blab it to all and sundry around the castle. Orlock didn’t seem to appreciate it so much, judging by the demons that suddenly started coming out from the corners of the hall and slinking up to her. Vallov growled, looking forward to a fight – even though he’s a pretty frigid guy, I know he hates those things as much as I do – but I preferred to sit it out for the moment, and Vallov has to do what I say.

 That girl had guts – or she was crazy, as I was strongly beginning to suspect. She didn’t appear to even notice them – until they touched her; then she went ape. Even as one demon, a horrid thing that looked like a cross between a monkey and a bat, slid up against her thigh and brushed against some strange sort of metal bear hanging there, there was a roar and the demon swiftly parted company with its head. Very swiftly indeed.

 I can’t believe she managed to hide a chainsaw on her back all that time.

 “No touchy Freddy!” she said, hefting the whirring blade in one hand, still holding the parcel tight in the other.

 The other demons kept their distance after that.

 I felt something stir in amusement in the back of my mind. I indulged the feeling for a moment, before I realised it wasn’t mine; it was Orlock’s. And Orlock, as we all know, is rarely amused by anything. If he is, someone’s going to suffer quite soon.

 Vallov and I watched as the demons formed some sort of honour guard around her, and guided her up the entrance hall, towards the stairs. The stairs. Hoo boy. Only a few poor suckers get taken upstairs, so to speak. Orlock usually just locks any intruders in the dungeon, if he doesn’t kill them straight away. Well, I say dungeon, but it’s really just a ground floor room with lots of things to chain up and hit people with (not in a kinky way whatsoever) leading right off the entrance hall. Orlock may not be one for theatrics, but he is one for not wasting time.

 I couldn’t help feeling sorry for her, as I watched her disappear up the next flight of the dreaded stairs. The feeling will probably soon evaporate, I’m sure, but…

 Oh, damn. Orlock’s just called, in that horrid little way of slipping his voice like a needle into my mind. Wants to give me a present from him, apparently. Knowing him, it’s probably one of the girl’s eyes.

 

*

 

 Orlock was impressed by the insanity that radiated from the child in front of him. It was an exquisite revelation – not quite as wonderful as the character of his own dear, dear Jack, but still an extremely pleasant surprise. A delicious treat.

 He licked his tongue against the inside of his closed lips even as he gazed blankly at her. “I commissioned this sword three years ago. On the whole, I would say that it has been a little late in coming.”

 “Oh yeah!” The magnificently attired child, adorned with the blood of her own kind and with the weapon that had no doubt dealt them their ends strapped once more to her back, beamed up at him. “But, see, it took Cain half a year to plan the sword, ‘cause he wanted it just perfect for you, and then it took him another year to make it, and then it got stolen just as it was finished and his head was cut off so he couldn’t work on it anymore, and it took me another year to go to New London and get it back, and I had to spend time boiling all the scum and stuff off from those exploding people in the palace – and here it is!” As was protocol she fell down onto one knee, and offered the sword with both hands; but unlike protocol she kept her eyes on his face. Despite her professions, and her madness, she was obviously examining him to see if he made anything of this.

 Her little hands were so white. They would make such a nice trophy for his wall…but he resisted the urge to slice them off. It would never do to get the sword dirty before he’d even seen it. And such hands were far too pretty where they were at the moment to be harvested…yet.

 He took the sword from her, and carefully unfastened the black velvet, taking time and care to get every last bit off before he turned attention to the sword itself. He placed the velvet on the ground, neatly folded; he telepathically summoned Jack to present himself – if the sword was satisfactory his sireling would be given it as a gift from a father to a son, and if it were less than satisfactory his child would watch him cut the girl’s head off as a punishment - and only then did he examine the blade.

 It was a good sword. It was a very good sword. Cain really had excelled himself this time. If what the child had said was true – and her brain was too addled for her to lie well – then Cain’s last work may well have been his best. Every part of it was according to his instruction; the obsidian like metal, the hilt that was just the right size for the grip of the one who would wield it, the jewels which would be useful in enchantment, without the user having to waste time using their hand to summon a spell. Perfect. Every single part of it was without blemish, or flaw. Perfect, as only the smith could create.

  Such a pity that he was now dead. All that talent, all the potential he had held, all the power he had kept locked within himself, utterly wasted. He had often attempted to ‘persuade’ Cain to continue his bloodline, but the sword-smith had been surprisingly resilient to any hints that he should sire another vampire, just like sweet, stubborn Jack. For a moment Orlock had hoped that this singular child was the product of Cain finally taking his words to whatever heart he had, but he could smell quite easily that she had not been sired by the sword-smith.

 Still, the hint of Cain’s scent was there, lacing the blood beneath her stained skin, and the smith’s essence was present in a distant corner of her mind – along with several other interesting occupants, he noted. Extremely interesting. He decided to test his theory.

 “This is a good sword,” he stated casually, lifting it up close to his eyes, seemingly looking only at the blade. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the girl’s face light up with an insane grin of pleasure, but what was much more gratifying than any grin was the flare inside her mind; partly made up of the gratification it shared with the child, but much more hostility, characteristic of Cain. So, the smith had put some part of himself inside her! Perhaps in order to stave off the death he inevitably had felt approaching, ensuring some small fraction of himself lived on to continue his work in the girl’s body? But no; insane as she was, she was still dominant in her own head. It was very curious indeed, and rather mysterious, even with the added aid of his advanced telepathic powers.

 Fighting the urge to attempt the ‘hands on approach’, tearing open her skin and skull and brain and examining inside her head much more closely, he let his lips twist up in a smirk. “A very good sword indeed. I am sure my son will appreciate it.”

 As if on cue, the door opened, and his beloved Jack walked in moodily, followed by his first gift, the drone. His boy both seemed and looked fairly surprised that the girl was still alive and retaining all her body parts, but quickly forced his face into the expression that Orlock so desperately loved – blank, unreadable, tantalizingly making one wonder what thoughts lay behind that beautiful face, and fathom what might be used to extract those self same thoughts, by hook or by crook. Jack had no idea just how inviting he unwittingly made himself in these moments, and if he did he would be delightfully, completely horrified and revolted.

 “Come here, Jack,” he called, and was rewarded by the sight of his sireling coming obediently, albeit with hunched shoulders and heavy steps. As the boy stopped in front of him, eyes fixed balefully on his face, he held the sword out to him.

 “A sword, specially designed and made for you alone, Jack. Take it. It is my gift to you, my son.”

 Secretly he was hoping, even under the wild desire that Jack would indeed acknowledge him as his father, that his sireling would refuse yet again, and he would have the chance to use the sword to split his pretty flesh and spill his blood once more, a divine combination of white and red. He did not know whether to be pleased or disappointed when Jack, barely flinching at the last word, silently reached out and took the sword; taking care, he noted, not to let his hands touch Orlock’s own. He examined it in his turn.

 “This was made for me?” he asked, the faintest hint of suspicion in his voice.

 “Indeed. By a master of the art. You should treasure that sword, my son. Its maker will never make a better one. Its maker will never make another one at all.”

 Jack shot him a glare from under his eyelids, obviously thinking that it was he, Orlock, and not some lackeys of the recently deposed prince of New London who had killed the late smith; but surprisingly it was the girl who reacted most. The deep growl that emanated from her throat made both Jack and the drone start back, as she started to jabber furiously, still on one knee.

 “Cain’ll make loads of better ones! Better than perfect! Just because he’s dead doesn’t mean he’s stopped working! A master smith never stops working, just because he’s died! He’s in here, you know!” She tapped one snow white finger against her filthy temple. “He’s here, in with me! We’re going to make swords together, so don’t you dare say that he won’t make any more!”

 So, the child knew of her master’s presence, had even acknowledged it. This really was wonderful! He would indulge in this affair further. He smiled down at her. “I apologise. But since I am certain you have traveled a long way, and you must be hungry, would you care to join me for dinner before you leave?”

 She blinked up at him rapidly, her rampant irritation quickly forgotten. “Forget dinner, how about a tea party?”

 “As you wish.” He turned to look at Jack and the drone, Jack looking as if he still expected him to swipe off the girl’s head at any moment. “Would you care to join us, my son?”

 For the first time since he had entered the room, the boy grimaced. “I think I’ll pass…sir.” He backed away, the drone following, still holding the sword, as he ground out his thanks for the gift. For the first time in a long while, Orlock didn’t care. All his attention was focused on this girl, for now.

 “You’ve got a pretty spiffy place here,” she commented, as he led her back down the stairs, seemingly unaware that if it suited him, he could well be leading her to her tomb. “But the décor’s a bit off. You need more bunnies on the walls, I think.”

 “Bunnies?”

 She nodded. “Bunny skulls. Or at least teddy bears, like Freddy.” She patted the bear at her belt, and he was intrigued to see a presence very like to it swim through her mind. She had actually created another part of her psyche, influenced by her experiences with the toy. “Lots of real teddy heads, if there are any teddies left! Still raw from being hacked off their bodies! With all little bits of spinal cord and bone and stuff. Just like that!” She gestured at one of his most prized wall hangings. “Only maybe not a human head.”

 “I’ll think about it. Perhaps over tea?” He opened the door to the room where he had left something earlier, to snack on.

 The girl looked through the door and around the shadowed chamber, and for the first time she looked impressed. “Wow.”

 This was one of his private rooms. Jack never came in here if he could help it. Orlock didn’t know why. They’d had such fun in here, after all. He still did, as the floor, walls and even the ceiling testified by their sweet sanguine tint.

 “You know,” the child said, as she looked around her, “Cain would so have stuck a sword through your head by now.”

 The sentiment of her master didn’t stop her from feasting on a man that had lain bound with human guts on the floor for days, terrified, only to have his fear finally ended by a glorious blood smeared wraith. He sat and watched how she ate. Nothing like himself, who if he chose would tear a human apart while he fed, nor like Jack, who was fastidious in the extreme, barely even allowing his lips to touch the meal’s skin, lest he associate himself with the act, and much preferring to drink from a glass. She was brutal, and yet there was a strange tenderness in her brutality. Even as she bit savagely into the human’s neck she cradled him in her arms, much as Orlock imagined a mother would hold her baby, much as he himself had once held a baby girl, before he had slit the infant’s throat. As the man shuddered in his death throes she rocked him gently, humming something deep in her throat, until the last spark of life went out of him.

 She spent some time looking at the body intently after she had lowered it to the ground, before looking up at him.

 “It doesn’t work!” she spat.

 “You were trying to do something?” He had hardly noticed, too busy being intoxicated by the sheer power he had felt flowing in her veins, almost completely echoing that of Cain. He wondered if that power would glow as brightly if it flowed on the floor, with her own life blood.

 “We were trying to make his head explode!” She gestured at the corpse. “But it doesn’t work, no matter how hard we try! Back in New London when we wished, blood boiled! Why won’t it work?”

 “Should it work?”

 She nodded again, so fast her head practically became a blur. “Ever since we – I drank Cain’s blood when we found his body, it’s as if it’s just been waiting to wake up. I saw visions in it. It told me where to go, and when I was there it took over for me, and cut them all down. We painted the walls in blood.”

 Orlock felt his face crease into a smile. His tongue lapped his lips and chin in sheer joy. It all added up. Everything. Cain, after all he had said, all the views his twisted mind apparently held, had created this, this broken, mended, vicious, miraculous, victory-stained warrior; the Bloody Countess.

 “It makes sense. Cain was an extremely powerful blood mage, even after he locked the ability within his body and turned his skills to weapons. It is only natural that, having consumed his blood, his power should pass to you.” Even as he spoke, he knew that excitement of a kind he had not experienced in a long time flowered within him. It was very like the night he had Turned Jack, though not quite as vivid as the ecstasy he had felt at the transformation of his little sireling – a refreshing experience. It intrigued him to know that the world could still surprise him. Cain certainly had, the old dog. Siring yet not siring, giving the child the blood she needed to survive and prosper and grow strong, even though he did not perform the act himself.

Lunatics could be frighteningly clever, as he himself knew well.

 She was looking at him now, curiosity lighting up her eyes, her lovely pinpoint eyes. “You knew Cain? You know about blood magic?”

 “But of course. Your master and I were…acquaintances.” He stood up, and it gratified him that she looked up to him, so small, as if her head had already been cut off. “What will you do now that you have delivered the sword?”

 Her pupils widened slightly, as if her throat had just been ripped out; but he recognized it as a sign that her more rational side had taken over, at least for the moment. “I’ve got to go back to Cain’s house. I’ve got to keep his business going. I’m the sword-smith now.”

 “Indeed.” Now was the crunch time. He bent down, clasped his fingers around her chin and forced her face up to his. She spat and snarled, her eyes once more pinpricks glaring up at him, but his nails dug sharp into her skin and drew fresh blood that was now her own. “This country has been vaguely entertaining for the past few years, but now that you have oh so kindly deposed New London’s prince, it has begun to bore me. I have decided to return to America; and shall of course be taking my son with me. Will you accompany us? I believe we could use someone of your many talents as an ally.”

 “Do I have a choice?” she muttered, or as well as she could while he was effectively disabling her jaw.

 “Of course.” There was always a choice, after all. It was just that he did not often offer it.

 She grinned manically, genuinely, even as his nails ripped her jaw off. “I’ll do it,” she gushed, just before her mouth simply gushed blood.

Epilogue

 

That’s all I remember, baby. That’s all I’ve been able to find out about what we’ve done, about what we’ve all been. Everything I’ve been able to find, able to remember.

 We know about causing the downfall of vampires in England, and killing so many of our own, when together we made up the Bloody Countess, with my body and Freddy’s aim and your love, baby, and Cain’s will. About what Orlock wanted for us, what he wanted us to become, what he still hopes to use us for. About what you were, Cain, before you became a smith, and died, and gave me and baby and Freddy your precious blood. All the things you’ve seen, and done, with Orlock or without, enough to make even a vampire weep.

Boo hoo.

 Don’t cry, baby! It’s not all sad! We know where Freddy came from, don’t we? We know of the happiness we had together, even in the hospital, even with Smith and Pentecost and dying and coming back to life, and, and, and me being able to keep you safe for ever, even though you won’t ever be born, and, and…

And…

And…and at least we had that time with Cain! Don’t argue, you two, and don’t you argue either, Cain! You know we were happy, all four of us together, with no one bothering us! We were so happy! Happy happy happy! All of us! So happy!

 I’m sorry we’re not happy so much, now. I mean, I’m happy, a lot, but that’s just mean of me, because I so often can’t share it with you both, only with Freddy. But Freddy always can’t wait to see you, baby, and he tells you all he knows, and I tell you all I know, Cain, or you feel it. Are you happy that Orlock says that my blood power and my skills with weapons are rivalling yours, now?

 Didn’t think you’d be. What do you want of me, blood?

 Tough luck, ‘cause I’ve got yours.

 Oh come on, no hard feelings, surely? Not after I let you into my body and my hands when we make weapons together? Not when I went to all that trouble to get to England, just so we could check on Catesbury? I’m surprised the place stayed standing that long! At least that girl did her job, and she scratched stuff into the wall very prettily too! Didn’t you enjoy that? And stealing those pages from Jack’s diary was no joke, let me tell you! And getting hold of Orlock’s blood – have you ever tried to get blood from an insane demon king? Don’t answer that! - and finding the right memory…

 Fine, you’re in a huff. Okay, be like that. Doesn’t matter what you think. We’ve got Jack’s diary, and the stone the testimony was carved on, and the mental home records – you seriously owe for that one, by the way – and the memories from my blood and your blood and Orlock’s blood in me. That’ll help us remember, always.

Won’t it, baby? Won’t it, Freddy? Won’t it, Cain?

 Yes, you’re welcome, Cain.

 Love you, baby. Love you, Freddy. Love you all.

 Now, you’ve got to go back for now. It’s time for me to intercept Orlock’s bouncing big screw-boy, and that wimpy little Riff-raff. Jack is gonna be so pissed off, and that’s only part of the fun I’ll have. He knows I can take him, with weapons or without, even though I’m so, as he puts it, “completely fraggin’ nuts.”

 Well, it was something other than fragging, but I’m not going to say that in front of all of you.

 See you both soon. I’ll be here, and Freddy'll be here, the way I’ve always been and he's been for so long, not the Bloody Countess anymore, and probably never again. Just me, Rendal Phibes Bathory. Ren.

 No, of course you don’t hold me back, my loves! It’s just because after all, a girl just wants to have fun! Fun fun fun! In my beetle black, berry red armor, and with my chainsaw and with Freddy Teddy, I’ll have fun fun fun!

 Girls just wanna have fun...

And I leave you in my memories, where you’re meant to be.